What do fictional characters do when their books end?

When Warren Clements edited the book Gulliver’s Day Trip, mined from the Challenge column that used to appear in The Globe and Mail, a number of chapters had to be cut for space.

Here is one of them. Canadians were asked to briefly describe the subsequent adventures of a fictional character after his or her fictitious career ends. The entrants’ names are in brackets after their entries.

Shortly after she married Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre remodelled the attic and let it out to a quiet, non-smoking gentleman.

After her return from Wonderland, Alice voluntarily checked herself into rehab.

Returning from Jupiter, Hal 9000 took a job as a scanner in a supermarket.

(Paul Davy)

Wanted: Hand-knitters for co-operative workshop. We specialize in open-necked sweaters and tricolour tuques. Apply M. Defarge.

(Marjorie Barton)

In his reclining years, Sherlock Holmes lived in an old folks’ home, where he was often called upon to solve The Case of the Missing Spectacles.

(C.H. Vane-Hunt)

Once married, Cinderella and the Prince went into the mail-order designer glass-slipper business and lost a fortune through losses caused by breakage in transit.

(Glen Acorn)

Urged on by mehitabel, archie left on a world trip determined to hit the capitals he’d never managed to reach before.

The Man in the Iron Mask joined the wrestling circuit, where his head-butt proved unstoppable.

(Gordon Findlay)

Prince Valiant started believing his own press and changed his name to Prince.

(Bonnie Green)

Hansel and Gretel won their case against the Witch for unlawful confinement and opened a candy store with the settlement.

(Brenda Weide)

Old film footage, unearthed in a PEI cellar, revealed a mysterious side to Anne Shirley’s career. In 1922, she starred in a silent adult film (never released) called Behind the Green Gables.

(Tim Chamberlain)

Humpty Dumpty pulled himself together and now speaks out against egg-beaters.

(Ron Charach)

Tintin retired to North America and ended up in a dog costume as the Fabulous Rin Tintin.

(Brian Yamashita)

Bilbo Baggins got a job packing groceries in a supermarket.

(Tom McGuirk)

Bigfoot moved to the south of France, where he found steady employment in the wine-making business.

(Barrie Collins)

Having had enough of being Holmes’s stooge, Dr. Watson sniffed out other, borderline avenues of providing cocaine.

(K.C. Angus)